In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
My penis needs a shock collar
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
