her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
If I die, sorry about rent.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
