I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
