sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize