I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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