Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
