do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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