Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
