my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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