Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
