having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
