u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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