Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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