What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
