Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
