if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
