I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
