i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
