I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize