PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I'm bleeding and have questions
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
