so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize