i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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