did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
