what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
