Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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