i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
