My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
