it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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