i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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