she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize