**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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