We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
i out mim tonsoeep
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