I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
