I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
