Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
