This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Sext me about skeletons
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Randomize
