do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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