He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
