Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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