try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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