did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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