And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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