You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
