Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
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