I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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