I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
