if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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