Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
