we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
