When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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