How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
You left your underwear on the fireplace
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
