I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
i out mim tonsoeep
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