Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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