butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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