god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize