If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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