those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
