so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
